Tuesday, January 26, 2010

History Repeats Itself

We've all heard the saying, "the only way to predict the future is to look to the past." And it is so true! History repeats itself every single day in millions of ways, and most recently, in my life.

Friday afternoon, Britt and I were in the car, driving home from dropping Brailey Shaye off at ice skating practice. On Fridays, her good friend Coral comes to the rink to skate, and Coral's mom, Suzanne, watches the two girls until Brady comes to pick Brailey up. We've only been doing this a few weeks, and it has worked out really well! I don't trust my babies with most people, but Suzanne is wonderful and takes perfect care of Brailey Shaye, and it is great for the two little girls to have fun skating together, since they go to different schools and don't get to see each other that often. Before Suzanne suggested doing this, Britt and I would have to wait around, which was fine with me, but got tiring and "boring!" for Britt. Thus, the reason Britt and I were in the car alone on Friday afternoon. We had stopped off at Target to get some popcorn, because they sell the freshest, tastiest popcorn in town, and I felt like Britt deserved to have something fun, too, right? (Not to mention the Popcorn Combo deal for $1.50, which includes a bag of popcorn and a drink - still working on that fizz addiction!) Anyway, the entire drive from Target to home was spent with Britt telling me all about a G.I. Joe movie. And when I say movie, I mean the entire movie, with every single detail covered. Finally, just as I was reaching my tolerance level for this story, which held no appeal for me whatsoever at all, I remembered something about myself - I used to do this exact same thing to my mother! And if I'm being totally honest, I still do it to her today! And so I thought to myself, "This is my payback for torturing my mother with various monologues about books and movies throughout the years." Yes, my son got that motormouth quality from me... What can we say? We're passionate people, and we like to share our joy!

I experienced history repeating itself again on Saturday night with Brailey Shaye. I'm not one to take baths - I generally prefer a shower. However, I was super cold on Saturday, and so I decided to take a bath. I lit some candles like my friend Nicoley does every time she takes a shower (she said it relaxes her), turned off the lights, and prepared to relax. And here came my little Shaye-Shaye with her cat. "Mom, can I come in here with you? Me and Jingles?" Well, what do you say? So I said yes, of course she could. And she was so thrilled! She sat down on the toilet and started talking to me about all these things in her life, including some stuff that happened between her and her friends at school. And that is when it hit me - the memory of myself as a kid, sitting on the toilet seat just like Brailey Shaye was, talking to my mother while she took a bath. The difference is that my mom would take a bath nearly every night. I don't enjoy baths as much as my mother, but I was still struck with the notion that Brailey Shaye was doing what I used to do, and I realized how exposed and vulnerable my own mother must have felt, stark naked in a tub while I was pouring my heart out. I never thought it was odd when I was a kid to see my mom like this, though, and I don't think Brailey did, either. Sadly, I put so much pressure on Brailey Shaye to be "good," she doesn't often confide in me about things in her life. I worry about this, and I'm working on making myself more approachable to her - my mom said Brailey knew she had my full attention in the bathtub, which probably made her feel safer in telling me the things she did. Which means, apparently, that I need to take more baths! Because my mom and I were always close, and I told her everything, and I really want that for Brailey Shaye and myself.

In any case, isn't it interesting that things from my past would come back to me through my children? Very interesting indeed. And downright wonderful!

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