Thursday, April 29, 2010

Stay-At-Home Soapbox

My friends Kelly, Kimmy and I all have many things in common, but I think the most important thing we share is a deep love of our children and the way we prioritize them. Like myself, Kelly and Kim both put their kids first, and everything in their lives revolves around their childrens' schedules. Taking it a step farther, we also have one other thing in common - all three of our husbands think we should work more! Can you believe that? As if being a stay-at-home mother isn't a job? Give me a break! AND a Kit Kat bar!

Now don't get the wrong impression, because we all three have very nice husbands, and I certainly wouldn't trade mine for anything in the world (except Pat Monahan from Train). However, as someone who works part-time, I do find it irritating that most men in the United States feel women should be "pulling their own weight" financially. What happened to the men who LIKED taking care of their women? Yes, I am grateful to the women's libbers who made it possible for me to be able to vote, but I think the men are carrying it too far, now.

Kelly actually had a great idea - she said the government should pay stay-at-home mothers, and I agree! It is a good thing we stay-at-home moms are trying to do - take care of our own kids. And people can say whatever they want to say about kids in daycare being more cognitively developed and social - I disagree. And when it comes right down to it, I think most of our problems in the world today are because of daycare - we are dealing with a bunch of overgrown adult-babies who grew up feeling like nobody cared about them because they grew up in daycares where, truthfully, nobody did care for them! Not the way a mother can care. There is no one who can love my babies the way I love them, and since I am the one who brought them into the world, I want to be the one who has the privilege of taking care of them. And that is what it is, for me - a great privilege and honor to take care of my B's.

This issue causes me so much anger and passion, it is hard to get it all out in words. The fact of the matter is, though, the moms who want to should be at home with their kids, taking care of them, without being penalized by society and even their own husbands. I have to admit I was a little shocked when Kelly said she thought the government should pay us, but then I thought about it, and I realized how brilliant she is to think that! After all, the government takes care of all the lowlifes in the country who don't even try to be a productive member of society. Why not help the moms who are trying to raise their kids to be good citizens? In other words, isn't it a crying shame that moms today have to essentially be penalized for taking care of their kids? Or, on the other side of the coin, to feel guilty because they have to work?

Brady and I have a good friend, Clay, who is a stay-at-home dad, and he and I talk almost every day while we wait for our kids to come out of the school. Clay will tell you straight up that staying home with the kids is a lot of work. He said it was a much easier to go to work and then come home! He and I were talking the other day about all the jerk dads who go to the bar after work and brag about leaving the "old lady" at home with the kids. Why aren't they home playing baseball or basketball or doing homework or working around the place? How can they possibly think they deserve to be so selfish, just because they "worked" all day. Moms work just as hard, if not harder, with no relief! No breaks or set hours - just nonstop work.

I realize I might sound redneck to some people. I don't mean to offend anyone. I grew up on a cattle ranch with a mom and dad who were both there for me, and they both worked their tails off to make a living for our family, but best of all? We were all together in everything we did. I never spent a single day in daycare. And I am still close to my parents today and hold almost every single value they held when I was a kid. I am proud of where I came from. They say you are a product of your parents, and while I might be a little crazy, I am also a good mom. That is the one thing I know to be true about myself, and I know there is nobody on this planet who can love my babies the way I do. Why would I want to get a full-time job and give all my money to someone else to raise my precious little B's?

And by the way? I have good kids! People tell me this all the time - I'm not just saying it because I'm blinded by my love for them. They truly are good kids, and they know I have high expectations of them. They know they are loved and important to me and their dad. And that is what I find lacking in so many adults today - they are still searching for someone to love them. Obviously I can't predict the future, and I'm sure I will have trials and tribulations with my children as they grow, but I'm betting the struggle to be able to drop them off and pick them up from school and to take them here and there and to go without some of the fun things we'd like to do because it is too expensive will all be worth it. We have our children with us for such a short time - why do people give them up so easily?

I know some moms have to work, and I don't judge them, I truly don't. All I'm saying is that being a stay-at-home mom is worth something, and Kelly is right. The government should reward the moms who make their children the priority and who stay home to take care of them. It takes a good mom to make a good kid, and wouldn't America be a bettter place if there were nicer, less selfish people in it? Yes. Yes it would. God bless the stay-at-home moms of the world!

1 comment:

  1. AMEN SISTER!! People say it is "really hard" to stay home..actually it's do have really good kids!!! love them!! thanks for staying and watching Griffin today too! So cute! I almost lost it watching my baby master the fiddle! STOP GROWING :)


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