Thursday, November 18, 2010

Just Breathe...

It is truly amazing how much my twin Little Mama and I are alike... Just the other day, I pulled into dance class with my window cracked just a bit. It was a balmy day, and I was enjoying the fresh air. Not 5 minutes later, here came Kimmy in her Cherry with her little darlings, and can you guess what else? Yep! Her window was cracked, just a smidge, exactly like mine had been! Is that weird or what? So last night at basketball practice, I was telling her about my new mantra, which is to JUST BREATHE, and that I planned to write about it in my blog, and unbelievably, or maybe not so unbelievably considering how connected we are, she had already written about that very thing in HER blog! It is wonderful to have such a fun connection like that with someone you love so much, and going back to the "there are no coincidences" thing, it just reminds me of how God is working in our lives, every single second of the day.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Just breathe. Just breathe...

Things have been busier than ever for the 4 B's, and it has been a struggle to cope, I have to admit. I mistakenly thought things would slow down after football season, but we went straight to volleyball and basketball, and now we have a practice every single night and games on the weekends, both Saturdays and Sundays. Not to mention Brady is working his two jobs seven days a week, I started another part-time/temporary job and of course I'm helping Brady with his second job when I can while also trying to keep the horses' stalls cleaned, the house cleaned, groceries bought and the 4 B's ranch in order while still finding time for homework and laundry and the thousands of things a mother is required to do every single day and did I mention the holidays are here? So yah. I'm struggling to keep up.

Last week, I made the B's clean their rooms, from top to bottom - they had Thursday and Friday off from school, so it was the perfect time to get it done. My mother says this is my way of maintaining control over something when I feel like everything else in my life is out of control. She's always right. Damn it! (I hope I get to do this to Brailey, someday.) Practically every second of every day is planned, and this is not something I enjoy. I've come to realize I'm either more of a free spirit than I realized or spoiled rotten. Whatever the case, this is the very reason I miss summer... I cherish those carefree days with my B's close by, no daily schedules other than what we truly want to do. However, I wouldn't take their volleyball or basketball away from them for anything in the world! They deserve it, and if they don't start out now, figuring out what they want to "do" when it comes to sports, they'll be behind in today's world. Sad, but true...

Ahhhhhhhh.... Just breathe. Life is still good in the midst of all this craziness, and I know this particular grueling schedule will be over before long, which is a sadness in itself, because my babies' childhoods are already passing us by far too quickly. So I'm trying to remain calm, and to remind myself to breathe. Just breathe... The problem is the tight schedules and pressure make me bitchy and not the kind of mom, wife, friend, daughter, person I want to be. I'm not perfect on a normal day, so when I feel all this stress, it makes me extremely uptight, which is not the path I want to be taking. And the bitchier I am, the more stress I feel, so isn't that just wonderful to add to the pile?

Whatever, we'll all survive, for better or worse, and there is a silver lining next week - my parents are coming for Thanksgiving! And not only do they not care one lick if the house is a mess or if it is spotless, my mother is the best cook on the planet, so I'm going to turn most of the cooking over to her and let myself be taken care of. After all, that's what mothers are for, right? To take care of everything. And to just breathe...

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