Thursday, May 19, 2011

Things I Would Tell My People

I heard this on my favorite morning radio show which I am absolutely OBSESSED with listening to... (Elvis Duran and the Morning Show, if you were wondering.) And since I was coming up with a whole slew of my own, I thought to myself, "PERFECT blog fodder!" What do you think? What would you tell YOUR people? (The "people" are whomever you are directing the comments to, by the way...)

I would tell sales clerks and people in customer service not to BE in the business of providing customer service if they can't PROVIDE customer service. I always make a point to say "thanks for the good service" to everyone in this position who does their job well. I even try to make the people who are NOT doing their job well feel cared for and appreciated by asking how their day is, how they are. But sometimes? People are just mean. Mean people shouldn't be in customer service. Of any kind. Period.

I would tell people who have fake boobs to keep them in their shirts. I mean, REALLY? Does everyone need to see and appreciate their mountainous glory every single second of the day? Honestly, they make me uncomfortable, and I feel like I can't even look at women who display their boobage so blatantly. A tasteful amount of flesh goes a long way. In other words, less is more.

I would tell people who always have to be right, no matter what, that they are insecure. If they weren't insecure, they wouldn't have to be right every single time.

I would tell women who wear panties to stop wearing panties and get a g-string or spanx so they don't have a hideous pantie line showing. Seriously, is there anything more unattractive than a panty line? Well, yes, there is, but panty lines are right up there on the scale of ickiness. And they don't need to BE.

I would tell people in their cars at the school drop-off and pick-up line to simply FOLLOW THE RULES! If everyone followed them, we would have zero problems and a lot less irritation between us. Specifically, don't leave your car, pull your car forward when the car in front of you moves, and don't pick up your kid(s) in the middle of the road. Is that so hard?

Some of the things they had on the Elvis Duran show were for men not to wear socks with their sandals, fat people not to wear too tight of clothing not made for their body shape, Facebookers not to air their dirty laundry in status updates, and shoe shoppers not to mix up the shoes for the next shopper. All valid points, I think. Don't you agree? Keeping in mind this is all in good fun, but seriously, what would you tell your "people?'

1 comment:

  1. this was awesome! made me giggle out loud! I love you for your random-ness! BUT, I will NOT buy a frickin' Gee you understand ya to heaven & back, but NO G String!


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