Friday, November 16, 2012

Teaching People A Lesson

One thing is for certain: there are a lot of people I would love to "teach a lesson" to. In fact, I am famous for saying "I'm going to write them a letter!" upon receiving poor customer service or what have you. Brady and the kids both make fun of me on a regular basis for my rants on what is and isn't right. All in good fun, of course, but to tell you the truth, I have been known to write a few letters. In fact, I once received a $25.00 gift card from Walmart after writing a letter to the manager of the store complaining about waiting in line with my two small children for over an hour to be checked out. Sadly, Walmart still doesn't provide enough checkers, and I have no idea why they have so many checkout stands when they only use one or two of them. But the moral of the story is that letters do work in some ways and not in others. I would rather have seen a vast amount of checkers working than to have received the money, but we all know that isn't how the world works. And now I don't shop at Walmart, unless I have to.

Elvis Duran and his morning show got me thinking about the concept of "teaching a lesson," though. Since Hurricane Sandy ripped the East Coast, I started listening to Elvis Duran and The Morning Show again through I Heart Radio while doing my work. They are so entertaining and fun and uplifting! Shortly after the hurricane and election, Elvis was talking about how everyone is so damned opinionated and that we all think we need to teach someone a lesson, but we really don't need to. We need to let things go... This concept really resonated with me, given my penchant for ranting and raving over different things that I feel aren't "right." And I have to say, I'm glad I heard Elvis say this, because he is right. What does it matter? I would much rather "let it go" than to build up a resentment over something silly. Ironically, I think this is why Brady has been making fun of me - he knows resentments are nothing but trouble.

So I'm trying to change my thinking a little (or a lot, depending on how you look at it), and to let things go. I'm trying to remember that EXPECTATIONS = PRE-MEDITATED RESENTMENTS. Trust me, it is hard not to have expectations of the world and to work acceptance. Because unfortunately, I DO have certain expectations, much like everyone else does, and I do get upset when my expectations aren't met. And ironically, I'm sure I do the very things that annoy me. Isn't that the way of the world? I swear it is true - we all do what what we don't like in others.

If, just for the fun of it, I had one day to "teach lessons" to people, though, I would love every second of it. My main lesson would be to people who are in customer service, and I would share with them not to be in customer service unless they want to provide it. A rude checker can ruin so many days for so many people. I would tell people if they say they are going to do something, then they should do it! Don't think saying you want to and doing it are the same thing. I would tell parents to quit saying "okay?" to their children. Nothing drives me crazier than hearing someone tell their kid to do something and then say, "Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay?" Do not ask for your kid's permission - it is confusing to the child and ridiculous! Tell the kid what you want them to do. Period. End of story. I would tell people to stop judging celebrities and to look at their own lives. In fact, stop judging other people, period. But then again, isn't that what I am doing right now? Judging other people?

Yes, the entire concept is an oxymoron, isn't it? Which is why it is best for me to accept that I don't need to teach anyone a lesson, because it won't do a lick of good. I have to learn how to work acceptance, which I will confess is a constant struggle for me. In other words, the only lesson to be taught is to my own self. I must continue to work on acceptance, tolerance and keeping my expectations low. And maybe, just maybe, that is the lesson we all need to learn.

1 comment:

  1. Man! this is a tough one... good for you for trying and seeing some of the hypocracy in expectations/judging whatever - but people do need to be held accountable. i think it just has to be in the way you do it? ??? maybe?! because i remember once chatting with a donor that gave money to UW Medicine before he died and when i asked him what he was most passionate about (thinking that is where he would want to give money) he thought for a long time and said, "Firing people." and was not joking!!! he said that there is nothing like a rude awakening to get people on the right track - people are begging for criticsm and need to know when they suck at something and when they are a fit. So many people are stuck in jobs they are bad at and hate too - customer service is one of those. i just waitressed this saturday night at that old restaurant i used to work at - sometimes customers can make you feel subserviant but if you're loving it and providing great service it feels like you're GIVING them food from your home that YOU made and i raked in the dough!! made an average 20% tip! And my grumpy colleague jeff who has managed a dozen or so restaurants cleared just hte minimum becuase he is rushed, rude and acts ANNOYED to be taking their order. it puzzles me why he continues to be in the industry??
    anyway - i wil try too!!hugs, nicoley

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