Thursday, August 22, 2013

Which Goes Faster - The Beginning or The End?

Watching the gold fish after cleaning the horse trough. Job well done! And they did it all on their own. 

Which goes faster? The beginning or the end? Of summer, that is... I was thinking about this the other day. I always find myself trying really hard not to think about school starting, even though it is inevitable, during this time of the summer, which is near the end. It just zips by so quickly! But which one comes faster? The beginning, or the end? I think the end... The beginning comes in a flurry of anticipation and end-of-school-year activities that makes that last push toward summer come quickly, but to tell you the truth, summer can never come fast enough for me. If I could figure out a way to hold on to summer forever, I would do it in a heartbeat! As I was contemplating which part of the summer flies by the fastest, I found myself feeling a bit jealous of people who don't have to dread September. Then I gave myself a good mental shake, because thank God my kids are still young enough that I can dread it! Thank God they are still here with us to take care of, unlike those poor families in Newtown, Connecticut who have a much bigger pain than mine to deal with (not even comparable, in fact). I thank God for my babies every day.

It's been a wonderful summer for us. I don't ever remember having a "bad" summer, truthfully. But this year, we took the time to do what we 4 B's wanted to do. We made ourselves and our time a priority. And it felt good! Except now it is coming to an end, and my heart is hurting already, as I listen to my B's build with their Legos and talk back and forth to each other, and I think about how quiet it is going to be without that endless, happy chatter that is pure music to my ears.

This year I am more anxious than usual, due to the fact that Brailey will be starting Middle School. Even though her teacher last year assured me she is more than ready for Middle School. And even though Brailey herself is confident and excited to be in sixth grade. I heard an ad for homeschooling on the radio just this morning, and I wished for a brief second that I could be one of those moms that could keep my kids home and go that route. But ultimately, Brailey is my shy one, and she needs the social interaction and the challenge of pushing herself to participate in group settings. And Britt is such a social butterfly, I don't think he would thrive without his companions.

The other factor causing a bit more anxiety than normal is the scheduling between the two different schools this year. It was such a blessing for the past three years to have both kiddos at the same school and on the same schedule! Now, Britt will be starting almost an hour ahead of Brailey, and he will also be getting out an hour earlier. With swim practice and volleyball and riding, I am worried about how we will manage to get everything done. Not to mention homework, stall cleaning and my job - when are we going to work all this in? Living out of town like we do makes time even more precious, to say the least. We spend more time in our car than the average family, that's a fact.

Whatever the case, it will happen just how it is meant to happen, and although I am nervous, I know it will all be okay. We'll find a rhythm, just like other families do, and everything will get done. Priorities will be made and rearranged to meet our needs. And some things just might have to go by the wayside. We'll just take it one day at a time. In the meantime, we will keep trying to hold on to the end of summer as it slips through our fingers like sand held too tightly. Looking back, we have some wonderful memories to carry us through to next summer, and we even have some tricks up our sleeves for the vacation we have left to enjoy.

Tell me, though - which is it for you? Is it the beginning or the end that goes by the fastest? I wish it didn't have to go by at all. I wish summer would just come and stay.

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