I spent much of January in writing-limbo, feeling like my freedom of speech had been diminished. I guess in reality, it hasn't. I could, if I wanted to go down that squalid road, do so. But I chose and continue to choose not to. To tell you the truth, my feelings have been hurt by many and I have felt outraged in recent weeks. I wanted to share how I felt many times, but it didn't seem worth the repercussions. To give you an example, I wanted to share the sweet gesture of my Brailey Shaye decorating the kitchen with red, white and blue in celebration of our 45th President on my 45th birthday. What a sweet, sweet girl she is, and I would have loved to shout it out on social media. But I didn't. I quietly shared it on this blog, but refrained from other avenues. And I haven't celebrated the election results. I have been quiet and mindful and kept my political activism to liking Facebook posts, period. No sharing posts or my feelings - I kept the words inside. And you know what? It has been painful. But I know it was the right decision.
Rather than engage and add fuel to the fire, what I need to do came to me in one of those rare moments of clarity just yesterday morning. BOOM! There it was - SPREAD LOVE AND JOY AND HAPPINESS, not hate. Because why take the path that will get me nowhere?
Voicing my opinion and arguing politics might make me feel better in the moment. MAYBE. But I don't like to argue with people. I'm far too sensitive for it. In fact, the negative and hateful posts about our new President posted by friends? I take them PERSONALLY. I take them onto my heart and soul. Because I know you, and I care about you. And because of this flaw in my personality (how could it be a virtue to feel things so deeply?!), I know I wouldn't feel good about engaging in that same behavior. And so I spent most of January feeling emotionally tormented and restricted. Because I didn't want to offend my liberal friends. I didn't want to hurt them. I didn't want to make them feel the way they sometimes (not always) make me feel. After all, I LOVE my liberal friends. I don't agree with the way they think about political issues, I think they are sadly misinformed, but I do love them as people.
And so I am making a choice not to engage in the nastiness. I am a proud conservative, a Republican, and I love President Trump. I am well-educated on the issues. I am also not a racist, I'm not a bigot, I'm not a fascist, I'm not a misogynist. I am not homophobic. I am a good person, for the most part, give or take a few character defects. I am a Catholic mother of bilingual children, the wife of an amazing and handsome cowboy who takes perfect care of me and his kiddos, and I am, quite frankly, the luckiest girl in the world!
So here's to February, the month of L-O-V-E. Here's to changing my behavior, leading by example and not taking everything so personally. Here's to refocusing my life on the blessings I have and how incredibly grateful I feel. Here's to sending out into the Universe what I want to get back. Here's to being the change I want to see in the world.
If you are reading this, then you are probably one of my friends, possibly liberal, possibly conservative, and guess what? I love you. And I am grateful for you. Let's celebrate all the goodness this life has to offer and spread joy and kindness everywhere we go! It's a good life, it really is. Live and let live. Spread the feeling of love! Be kind! Be generous. Do good. Treat life like the precious gift it is. Focus on the positive. Love with all your heart. Love as big as you can love! And how about this? Be MINDFUL. Be careful with your words. Use your words to spread love, not hate. For blessed are the peacemakers... Be blessed and be a blessing.